So much so that as a society, we don’t really talk about miscarriage, and as a society, underestimate how common miscarriages actually are. A survey conducted by Livescience shows that more than half of Americans think that miscarriages occur in 5% or less of pregnancies. However, miscarriage is much more common than we think – miscarriage actually occurs in more than 15% of pregnancies. We tend not to hear about miscarriages as much because people tend not to announce pregnancies until after the 12-week mark, and many of them miscarry before they get to announce the pregnancy. Lack of experience and knowledge tends to make us unprepared when facing miscarriage and picking out miscarriage gifts.
Other than being physically present and providing words of comfort, sending a gift is an expression of your love, care and sympathy for the parents who have suffered a miscarriage. It is an acknowledgement of the life they had carried, recognizing their loss and letting them know that they are not alone. If you’re at a loss as to what would be an appropriate gift, consider some of the miscarriage gift options below.
Although given for many joyous occasions and funerals, a fresh bouquet of flowers is also an appropriate gift in times of miscarriage. Flowers are often sent as a sign of sympathy, but they are also a social symbol recognizing someone’s grief and right to mourn. Sending a fresh bouquet also sends the message that you acknowledge their grief is as great as if they had lost a fully grown child. The beauty of flowers will also remind the parents that in spite of the dark times they are going through, there is still beauty in the world. A fresh bouquet is also an ideal choice if you are not close enough with the parents to know the specifics of the baby, and are unable to pick a personalized gift. Try to choose a bouquet that comes with a vase so parents won’t have to worry about finding a vase or trimming the flowers. If you choose to have the flowers delivered, be sure to include a card with your name and some words of sympathy. Also be aware that most couriers will not deliver flowers on Saturday, Sunday or Monday. For something simple, consider the farm fresh Large bouquet of Fragrant White Lilies with a French Bucket Style vase. Sent overnight straight from the flower farm, these white lilies make a suitable choice because they represent innocence restored to the departed. Another choice is the Benchmark Bouquets Elegance Roses and Alstroemeria. In addition to the white Peruvian lily (alstroemeria), this bouquet also includes classic white roses, paired with a glass vase.
Necklaces are a common gift for women, but especially poignant for parents going through a miscarriage as a necklace sits close to the heart, symbolizing how the issue is close to their heart. These are the types of miscarriage gifts that really hit home. For a mother who doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry or prefers subtle jewelry, you might consider the Angel Baby Memorial Charm. This delicate and fine sterling silver necklace comes with a heart and angel wings charm that measures no larger than ½.” The packaging is often as important as the gift, this necklace comes on a card inscribed with “an angel in the book of life wrote down this baby’s birth, then whispered as she closed the book… Too Beautiful for Earth.” For a necklace that doesn’t have an angel motif, you can choose the Mother of an Angel Baby Memorial Charm. Also a fine, sterling silver necklace with an 18” chain, this necklace comes with an interwoven heart and infinity symbol pendant. The pendant is completely flat, but measures around 1.” The card it comes with says “Though we never held you in our arms we will always hold you in our hearts.”
Personalize your necklace gift a little more with the Custom Forever in My Heart Floating Charm Locket Necklace. Choose from a selection of small charms, including birthstones, baby footprints, angel wings, crosses, symbols etc. to go inside this clear heart locket. These are suitable miscarriage gifts if you are close enough with the mother to know the gender, expected dates etc. This stainless steel necklace is around 1” in size, with a 20” chain. Necklace will be delivered with a “Forever in my heart” card.
Rather than something as intimate as a necklace, you may want to purchase an ornament instead, such as this Willow Tree Remembrance Angel. These hand-painted ornaments from Willow Tree are often given to mark a memory. This particular Remembrance Angel is given as a symbol of sympathy, comfort, remembrance and healing. At 5” tall, these resin figures are designed to be open to interpretation, and will hold special meaning for the grieving parents you gift this to. This is one of our favorite miscarriage gifts on the list.
If you know the parents trim Christmas trees, another option is this Memorial Ornament – Before I Said Goodbye. This hanging glass ornament is inscribed with the “Before I Said Goodbye” poem by Christy Wilcox. Measuring 3.5”, this ornament can be hung by the satin bow it comes with. The ornament is gift-wrapped upon purchase and comes in a light aqua gift box with satin ribbon to match the ornament.
Although as family and friends, we can be there for our loved ones, share in their grief and help them remember, we may not always be able to relate to their experience. Other than talking to other parents who have experienced miscarriages, parents can also read about other people who have gone through the same experience. Try not to get the parents books that teach you how to get over the grief or move on, even if you mean well, you could accidentally be sending the message that they are taking too long to grieve and should get over things faster. Instead, you could consider getting them books that simply acknowledge the pain and grief of losing a child. One such choice is You Are Not Alone: Love Letters from Loss Mom to Loss Mom by Emily R. Long. As the title suggests, this book is full of letters written by mothers who have also experienced miscarriage. The letters serve as a reminder that these mothers are not alone in their experience, that they shouldn’t feel guilt, and to embrace their grief.
Don’t forget that although the mother physically suffered the miscarriage, the father is often just as affected by the miscarriage. In From Father to Father: Letters from Loss Dad to Loss Dad, also by Emily R. Long, she has compiled a collection of letters from fathers who have experienced miscarriages.
In Grieving the Child I Never Knew: A Devotional for Comfort in the Loss of Your Unborn or Newly Born Child by Kathe Wunnenberg, each devotion includes a Scripture passage and prayer, Steps Toward Healing questions, and space for journaling. This is a book for Christian mothers, to help them face God and receive His healing.
These are some of the best miscarriage gifts you can get grieving parents. Regardless of which gift you choose, remember to also give the gift of kindness and sympathy.